our prayers

January 20, 2013
Ending this day with gratitude and lots of hard work for our little one/s that we believe are on their way.

We are truly praying for guidance and discretion… we don’t know what’s coming in the next moment, the next day, or in an the next email. We have seen so much in the past few weeks that we are simply trusting God through this process.

We ask that you pray with us for wisdom and guidance in every aspect of this journey. There are so many decisions to make, often in such short amounts of time…. it’s tough to not second guess yourself.

Continue to pray for our little ones, their birth mother, and their birth family. Our birth family has such a huge decision to make – one that I can only imagine causes some amount of stress and fear for the unknown future of their unborn child. Pray for their peace and guidance. That they are confident in their decision and the safety of their child.

Regardless of which side of the line you stand on in regards to adoption, there are natural fears and concerns that stand right along side the excitment, joy, and hope of a future for a new family and little one. It’s not easy – for anyone involved. But, we trust that God can and will bring peace to us all, every step of the way.

Thank you for your prayers and support!

December 30, 2012
There’s a huge gap here, yes? The end of 2011 and most of 2012 was such a rough time for us/me in regards to expanding our family. It was not easy.

But, here we are. Gearing up to adopt and welcome little ones into our home to raise to be little images of Christ.

I’m going to switch up the format a little bit. Instead of posting prayers, I’m going post requests that we/I need for any given time. Please, feel free to comment and leave your prayers (if you wanna) for us! I’d love to join ya!

At this time, we need prayer for:
1. wisdom in planning and preparation, decision making – in terms of fundraising, choosing HOW MANY babies we want to adopt… 1 or 2?! lol, as well as the when’s, what’s, and how’s of these very unfamiliar roads.
2. a community of believers/friends/family/ with a heart bent towards assisting us in growing our family.

Have any questions? Contact us – thomasandalaina@yahoo.com!

August 20, 2011
There are a lot of times I feel like I’m just out of prayers. This is one of them. Although my prayers have changed, there are still those elements that are the same…… Asking for babies (in His time), praying that this time IS His time. And, most of all for peace and joy regardless of my situation and circumstances around me. Trying to focus less on “When will it be my turn?” and more on doing the best I can to do and become the best I can now. After all, when it is His time, I want to be the best. So taking this time to grow and develop isn’t so bad in the end.

Just hoping that until we are blessed, I learn to handle the let downs better than the time before.

July 29, 2011
If You will. Please. Just don’t let me go. I have no more energy or ANYTHING to hold onto You for this.

July 11, 2011
This month there is no treatment plan………. Our expectations are pretty low. Not quite sure how else to feel. The correct answer is hopeful and expecting the best. You’re hopeful and expecting the best when you’ve studied your hind end off on a midterm when you have an B+/A in the class. You’re indifferent when you’ve all too familiar with failed cycles and negative tests. What I have come to do is trust God’s timing. And, that’s where it is. That’s where I am. We’ve had plenty of experience in learning to wait, trust God, and be grateful regardless. So, I can’t help but to be truly thankful about that. Baby or no baby. Positive or negative. Just wondering what we’re supposed to be learning now. What we’re supposed to be doing. What God is wanting from us first. Guess it’s time to stop wondering and pray. Pray that we’re putting ourselves in the position to become exactly who He wants us to be. Regardless of the ups and downs in our relationship, we want to ensure that we’re going to be good role models for our babies. That they’re able to see Him in us. THAT is our prayer. Always. So this month, as we get closer and closer to O (which I’m not testing for) – I’m focusing a lot less on “baby making” and a lot more on who I’m supposed to be to Thomas and to the world for Him. And, because I suck at being excellent at both – I have a lot of work to do. A lot building and studying to do. 🙂 … but, all in good faith and pure joy.
James 1:2-4
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,^[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

How can you ever stay angry with God knowing that His goal is to make you better?

June 21, 2011
There are two other ladies in my life, three if you count a degree of separation, who are going through the same thing I am. We’re all about a week apart in our treatments. We’re all praying for success. Praying that God blesses us and cuts this journey short. Praying that THIS month, this cycle won’t end in tears and pain but the overwhelming joy of a life so diligently worked and prayed for, even labored over finally begins it’s 40 week stay inside our womb. We’re praying for life. For God to “light up the sky” for us, for Him to show us His love and power, His creativity by way of a baby. And, if He so chooses NOT to bless us THIS cycle- praying for perseverance in the desire to believe and have faith. To keep trying when things have gone so far in vain. We’ve had surgeries, numerous injectibles, and taken countless pills….. Let it be worthwhile. If not this cycle, I’m praying we hold it down and keep it together without rebelling or responding disrespectfully to our husbands. I pray we don’t lose hope bc in the end – that’s all we have.

Hope.

June 16, 2011
Dear God, please.

June 10, 2011
The Lord’s Prayer
Matthew 6:9-13

Our Father, which art in Heaven. Hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done. On Earth, as it is in Heaven. Give us this day, our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. Lead us not, into temptation but deliver us from evil. For Thine is the kingdom, and the power. And the glory, forever. Amen.

I’m really focusing on the “Thy will be done” part. I’m comfortable knowing that everything will happen in His perfect timing. I’m getting a bit nervous about the upcoming week – unsure about what will happen and when but I am sure that whenever and however it happens, it will be for His glory.
And, I’m leaving it at that.

May 22, 2011
Trusting a person is tough. Especially when they consistently prove to be unreliable. Trusting a person proves to be dependable, efficient, and semi perfect is a bit easier even in those tight, down to the wire moments. We may get a bit nervous but we still trust. Why? Because they have proven to deliver in the past, we know they’ll more than likely come thru this time. Trusting someone we’ve never seen or met would be almost impossible – we have no relationship with them, no bond, no intimacy, no nothing. A person we’ve never physically met but who created us. Never fails us. Never sinned. Planned everyone’s every little detail from conception until death. Provided for us. And, became one of us only to die for us – should make trusting them a whole lot easier. But, it doesn’t. Even when it should.

My prayer is to learn to trust this person I’ve never physically met in every aspect of my life. So deeply that I don’t even consider the circumstances. The control freak, must have it right, write it all down, ask a ton of questions NUT that I am…. wants to be able to give it allllll to someone else to handle. So I don’t have to worry and stress over it. So I don’t have to be concerned about this parent’s thoughts about what I should/shouldn’t have done, how to respond to this child’s behavior, does this person like me, or am I “enough” for this person at this time in this situation. Because it doesn’t matter. I’m trusting God with my goals, my desires, my feelings, my beliefs, my decisions, my responses, my EVERYthing so much so that nothing else matters. Now, realizing that I’m praying to LEARN how to do this – I do realize that I will be put in situations to practice. Which I guess in the long run is fine – how else do I know that I know something unless I practice and study? ((DISCLAIMER: I am NOT saying be foolish and not listen to wise counsel and be unwilling to be taught/corrected… I’m saying trust that God will lead/direct/handle your situations))

At this time in my life right now, dealing with infertility is my hugest struggle… Thankfully my next worry is what I’m wearing to work tomorrow and planning the month with my nieces. THANKFULLY. But, the emotions and emptiness that come with this struggle seem unmanageable at times. Almost paralyzing. As if the void is completely bottomless – unable to be filled. Like no amount of anything can make you feel better. It’s like trying to fill a bottomless sand pail in order to build the most beautiful castle ever created- you’re shoveling sand in it only to have it spill through. Obviously, collecting and transporting sand in wet hands is not worth it. What’s the point? It seems hopeless and futile to even try to build the castle. Until you realize the purpose for the time. The opportunity for growth. The opportunity for service. The opportunity to build your faith, your character, and trust.

We go through nothing in vain. Everything we go through, every relationship we are in is for a purpose. Are we fullfilling our purpose? Are we glorifying God in these moments. Are we using this time to grow in God?

That’s my prayer. To simply grow in God. To trust Him for everything. To not try to fill my sand pail myself but to allow Him (the creator of the sand pail, i.e. the desire) to adjust, fix, remove, and/or restore my sand pail to working order and then fill it to overflowing with Himself. All while I just sit back and watch Him work. I just have to give Him my bucket. And trust that HE will be there with me as I allow Him to fill my bucket and create this magnificent castle. In His time. For His glory.

Pray with me. Pray for me. I’ll be praying for you.

May 19, 2011
My prayers today consist of nothing but being able to do and handle whatever God is putting in front of me. I can’t even begin to THINK of doing anything else. I don’t want to go through this, I don’t want to have to deal with this. I don’t want this. I don’t want this huge responsibility. This process has so many ups and downs. So many high points and low points – most high points consisting of thinking of the possibilities and being able to go through a procedure. The low points are obvious but at the same time are a bit unassuming unless you’ve experienced them. There are good days and bad days. Good MOMENTS and bad ones. Some days you’re stronger than others. I just pray that in my weaker moments I depend on God and in my stronger ones I’m able to maybe store up enough strength to carry me through a bad day. I pray God blesses us the first time around. I pray I don’t come off as a crazed, bi-polar, lunatic who goes from one extreme to the next depending on the moment although I often feel that way. I pray I heal from this surgery QUICKLY – I’m tired of hurting everytime I want to move or from moving too much. There are so many things to pray for in regards to one area of my life – I don’t want to neglect the others………….

May 18, 2011
With the surgery behind us and our odds/percentages of pregnancy increased – I am praying for peace. I’m praying that this is when my hopes and trust in Christ are actually tested and put to the test. I know that God is the giver of life and I’m praying that he blesses us very soon. I’m praying that this journey isn’t long but if it is, that my faith and hope don’t waiver but continue to grow stronger. I pray that I depend on Him through this all. I pray that I do what I am supposed to do during all of this and that ultimately He will receive glory and praise from this – after all, that is why we’re here on Earth, right? To bring God glory? I believe that. I believe that we’re put in situations in order to do just that. That everyone is put in circumstances that suit them best in order to give God the most praise. I don’t question why I have to deal with this and not someone else…. Why not me? Why shouldn’t I be used to bring God glory? It’s not the most fun situation – it’s emotionally crippling at times, frustrating, and painful – but… God knows best and I have to trust in Him. Trust His timing. Trust His plan. Trust who He is. It makes it a little less random and a lot more like a blessing. To think God chose me to bring Him glory in this way. It’s huge. To touch women in the most intimate way possible. Why would He chose me? I’m praying that I do what He urges me to, that I stay sensitive to Him, and that I depend on Him to get me through the hardest time in my life. I pray this isn’t the beginning of years worth of treatments and monthly disappointments. I pray that I am able to deal with things a bit easier as time goes by although I know that it CAN get much more difficult.

If you choose to, pray for my emotional strength, a quick recovery, and a lot of wisdom to get through this.

…. to faith and hope.

May 17, 2011
Right now, I need to be asleep. It’s 3:45a.

but………… I worry. I stress. I get anxious. Right now, I’m all of the above along with working hard to get this blog set up so I won’t have to work tooo hard tomorrow post my surgery to inform everyone at once about how everything went.

I am praying that everything does go well and that there are no freak situations that are possible anytime you go under and are on the table. I’m praying that there isn’t too much “wrong” and that if there is, it’s an easy fix and we can move on along down this road.

….. heres to peace and rest.

May 15, 2011
We are praying and hoping to conceive on our first cycle of IUI while I am WELL aware of the odds, percentages, numbers, etc, etc – I’m as prepared for the journey as best I think I could be at this point. But, we are prayerfully hoping to conceive by August in an effort to deliver our bundle by April of 2012…. We’re both want to be ready for start of the 2012 – 2013 school year in August of 2012.

OBVIOUSLY. What we plan and what God has planned can be incredibly different. We’re more than eager to follow God’s plan but have no issue with asking for what we want!