I have come to absolutely love preparing for Holland.
Initially, it was pretty scary. But now, it gives me a sense of hope, future, second chances, & wonder.
It’s the opportunity to create perfection.
Because isn’t that the goal? A masterpiece of a child? The exquisite parent/child relationship?
I love how preparing for her is like creating a work of art from a lump of clay or blank canvas. Her room doesn’t have to be re-done or her wardrobe revamped.
There no sense of the past or an old anything that is coloring who she is.
It’s fresh. Each dress, onesie, shirt, sock or shoe I buy her is creating a look that she will have never had. A look no one else has had, either.
Her walls and furniture are completely personalized just for her. She won’t miss a favorite piece that’s being replaced nor will their be crayon marks or stickers stuck to the side of her bed.
Everything is new.
That’s one of the most exciting aspects of parenthood to me – you will have an opportunity to create afresh what you want to exist.
You’ll teach how to love or hate, how to be impatient or gentle. We’ll be writing on a blank slate – creating a work of art to be displayed for the world to see.
The goal is to raise a child who loves The Lord and honors him in the best and worst of times.
But, that’s difficult when everything is spotless but the ones raising this impressionable little being.
We aren’t perfect. We will fall short and mess up. Some mistakes we’ll be able to cover up with a bit of TLC & creative color mixing, while other mistakes will end up being a bit of an abstract beauty mark that is appreciated because of more creative artistry. While others – well, we’ll want a whole new canvas.
I’m thankful that every moment we’re given a blank slate. A new place to start by a God who is full of chances when they are so undeserved. And, although we can’t always go back and touch up – we can accept the forgiveness and love of a God who makes all things new in its own time.
The hope is that I will be a parent who has learned from the ultimate parent – the model parent, our Heavenly Father- how to treat my children based on how He treats me. How to trust those around me who are wiser and more mature. How to listen when it hurts and how to embrace my mistakes with the goal of learning from them.
Constantly keeping Romans in mind- remembering the type of person I am, have been, or have the propensity to be will allow me to be humble & open.
Humble when I “ruin” my painting & open to the suggestions of correcting my mistakes.
The person who doesn’t wallow in the ruin but remembers the savior who redeems and perfects as we journey through this life.
Everything is so new now. And, although as days go by, carpets will wear, furniture will be ruined, glass with be broken, I’ll lose my temper, and she will slam a door.
and, I will know I did my job (by the grace of God) when we emerge from our separate corners loving each other like Christ loved us both – even in the midst of sin.
That is creating a masterpiece of a child. One who doesn’t seek to immolate me. Not one who wants to be just like me, one who never speaks harshly or pine after me – but one who diligently seeks The Lord & chases after Him.
I pray, pray, pray that my thoughts on Christian parenting don’t evaporate once I see my girl. That I don’t make this whole thing about me. I believe that my thoughts will be challenged & challenging… They’ll be expanded & tweaked. Some ideas will work some days and others not so much – but, at the end of the day……. Even when I’m lying in bed crushed and the horrid mistakes that my man & my girl will be able to look at this mess of a woman & say “…. Just a little bit of this color & that will do just the trick!” & see a glimpse of the One who lives inside me.
I want mommy-hood, wife-hood, & Alaina-ness to be about God.
Only & always.
… here’s to redemption & willingly laying your character, attitude, & thoughts on the potter’s wheel to be molded to look a lot more like him!