I have no idea what we were doing last week, but I remember this time last year like it was yesterday.
Chaotic and dark and painful days filled with this crazy joy and love for my babies and the beginnings of a real peace seeping into my world. Two chubbies crawling around, cruising, starting on purées, and Gerber puffs. Wearing little moccasins and Carter’s onesies & those heavy Stride Rite shoes.
How I wished and wished for better days and totally missed what was right in front of me. As horrible as this sounds, I’m quite a few months into really seeing my babies. Really taking them in versus being a fog and checking off caring for them like tasks on a to do list. My days aren’t not a blur anymore. And, I’m soaking every moment with these people and this season of my life up because it’s full of expectancy and anticipation like never before.
My girls and I went to the park today and I wanted to stay. I wanted to watch them climb up the slides and explore. I wanted to just observe them laugh and play, watching them do new things is so neat….. Didn’t want to worry about the heat or bugs or the freaking schedule. Right now, I have a kid that’s half my size laying on my chest and I love it. While it’s a bit inconvenient & it’s delaying some progress, why rush her off to her crib? Yes I have things to do that a sleeping 25 pounder laying on your chest totally stops, but it’s also giving me time to share Plexus, blog, sit with the Lord, & just be. So, we’re being productive. And, I learned a bit more about being flexible, enduring, & patient. I’m learning not to rush through “it”. Learning that not everything has to change today….. not matter how hard, painful, or inconvenient…….. it doesn’t have to change today. But it could actually change tomorrow. I know that you can get through the day. That the longer you’re in it, the longer you’re face to face with the Lord, the better. depending on him for each moment is draining but so good. I was listening to Priscilla Shirer today and she talked about how we miss opportunities to grow our character and relationship with God when we rush through life. And, she’s so right.
So the Lord is working things out for our good. And, one thing that helped to broaden my perspective and exercise a bit of patience was thinking of God “working things together” like planning an event. Have you ever done that? You have to work with a caterer, a baker, the venue coordinator, you gotta get your dress, the shoes, the invite list, stationary, etc etc for ONE event. Imagine that the Lord is doing that with you & every person in your life as he’s trying to get us to where he wants is to be. All the pieces he is coordinating and lining up ever so perfectly to make things work for our good. So now, if I’m struggling with someone, I just think……. he’s working on the cake design with the caterer & that’s why this isn’t quite ready yet. This hasn’t happened because we’re waiting for that last RSVP. While nothing is too hard for God and he can make anything happen when he wants, he understands the importance of the process. And, I’m learning to appreciate it.
We’re a few months away from the end of 2016 and I literally cannot believe all that’s happened. It’s been so good and I wish I hadn’t rushed through some parts, but even through that God has been good and has grown me so much.
Not wishing a moment by. Not rushing through one experience to get to the next. Yea sometimes I want Jesus to come down immediately but then I remember that someone this right here that feels like walking through drying concrete, has the potential to draw me closer to the Lord & shape me to be more like him……. or, I could totally waste this time & complain.
The Lord is my shepherd, he restores my soul, he leads me. I will fear no evil because the Lord is with me (and has already been right here because he also goes before me). He has a provides for me, he pursues me, he challenges me, &strengthens me. Christ offers us freedom, joy, peace, and a relationship overflowing with a loyal, unconditional love. It’s up to us whether or not we accept it, we fight to grasp hold of it, and rest in Him. Learning to do that is NOT easy. Learning to navigate a whole new circumstance isn’t easy, but it can be done & it can be done well.
…… you just gotta learn trust the Lord’s party planning skills.