… written on the heart

Whatever it is you feed your mind, will dictate your thoughts………

4mth

February was slated to be quite the exciting month…. if not for one reason, definitely another. We waited to hear if we were going to be the parents of a sweet one due at the beginning of March (she happened to make her debut on the 26th!) and if we weren’t to adopt her, we would join our agency and attend orientation on the 27th & 28th.

But, as it happened, none of those events happened.
We experienced our first failed adoption and due to discrepencies between ourselves and our agency on discipline, we were not able to attend this month’s meetings. We have to complete online trainings on alternate forms of discipline (aside from spanking) in order to attend orientation next month.

Calamity. Castrophe. Cataclysm.

Always.

And, it’s okay. Now,at least.

It wasn’t okay for a few hours. There were tears and frustration concealed and managed.

Very abrasive, destructive, and negative thoughts were combatted with quietly whispered truth.
“My grace is sufficient”
“I am with you”
“I am God”

Over and over and over again.

Then reading Psalms 36 that night was amazing…. and, immediately brought to mind Third Day’s song, Your Love, Oh Lord, whose lyrics are taken directly from the scripture, comforted and encouraged me.
****** I’m huge on Contemporary Christian music and I’m always sideeyed but I love it because the lyrics are scripture. Can’t beat that! It’s true, honest, and even the most upbeat & pump your fist songs are filled with a peacefulness! I mean, how could it not be?! ******
sb

(photo by Christin McQueen)

My youngest neice (above and below, 3yrs old) called and said “let’s say a pray” and literally made me repeat everything she said. She thanked God for mouths to eat, teeth to chomp like alligators, and noses to smell flowers, for the dentists who clean our teeth…. she thanked God for animals and who knows what else. It was beyond adorable and sweet. It reminded me that even though nothing is perfect… there is so much to be grateful for. (Even mouses… no, mices.. wait, mice!)

ari dinner

Her older sister (8 yrs old) left me messages saying that we could have her and asking if we could go get her (she lives in Georgia) and bring her down to live with us. lol. Totally cute. And, I can’t wait until they come down for the summer! One full month of auntie/neice loving is never enough but certainly makes for an entertaining summer!

aliya graduationaliya cheer

Our time will soon come…..

In the meantime, we will continue to use our time wisely and prepare so that when our time makes its debut, we will be ready.

While I do that, this curly mane of mine will continue to grow in beauty and length! lol. I am really, REALLY loving my hair, watching it grow, and learning how to manipulate and maintain it!  I don’t regret chopping my hair off four months ago (read about it here!) and I’ve enjoyed the journey we’ve been on!

Nevertheless…..
He is the solid rock on which I stand….. His grace is sufficient, and He is with me. All things will pass away. Our plans will be ruined, we will experience disappointment, sadness, and grief. But at the end of the day, His mercies, grace, and presence will sustain us.

…. here’s to writing His word on our hearts, tying them to our hands, and binding them on our foreheads. This way, we cannot get away from and will constantly be reminded of His goodness and faithfulness.

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About Alaina

Wife. Daughter. Sister. Aunt. Friend. feel free to walk beside me. support. encourage. comment. pray. bestow wisdom. advise. follow. subscribe.
This entry was posted in adoption, faith, fertility, growth, hair, hope, infertility, nieces, scripture, summer, what I love and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to … written on the heart

  1. Damitta Straughter says:

    Oh Alaina. I read your posts often because you are so strong. I am weak some days and reading how faithful and trusting you are in the Lord…gives me strength to “get it together”. I am praying for you and your family, and you said it best…when it is your time, you will be ready! God makes no mistakes. 🙂

    • Alaina says:

      Damitta…… You are stronger than you think. We can all look at another’s circumstances and think “If that happened to me, I’d….” and our true response to heartache is never what we think it will be. Weak days/nights/weeks come with the territory – it doesn’t mean you aren’t strong. You, my friend…. are strong. And, you are doing a fantastic job of being exactly what and who you need to be for your daughter. I love you! And, thank you very much!

  2. Tonya says:

    OK so I Can’t say that I peak in often, but I’ve been following for at least a year now. And I can’t even begin to tell you how much I admire your strength, courage, and bull-dogmatic perseverance. I can’t help sitting here thinking that while you clasp hands with the lover of our souls and the hubby and embark on this adventure of your life, God has already given you your hearts desire. Just His way for now. In so many ways you already are a mother, inspiration, leader, and much more to people you know or met as well as those you haven’t. In so many ways God has given you spiritual kids to love and encourage and look out for. And by the way, you do an awesome job at it Alaina. Psalm 113:9 says He settles the childless woman in her home
    as a happy mother of children. I know you desire a seed from your own loins. And I believe God will indeed provide because He is faithful to His word when He says we can ask Him, an He gives good gifts, an He does exceedingly abundantly above all we ask or imagine. But, as you wait I hope you realize an know and continue to enjoy being the mother you already are to many. Look around an your children are already here all over. Still praying with you and for you as you keep your eyes on His needs first. I love you much my sister in Christ.

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