Long post short…..
As rude and insensitive as many can intentionally or unintentionally be towards those of us who are unable to have our own babies naturally – I try incredibly hard to be open minded & understanding about their closed minded-ness.
Thoughts like “Man, they really put their foot in their mouth on this one…” cross my mind eventually. I mean, in all honestly, who hasn’t stumbled into a mine field a time or two??
Then, there are times I’m not so successful with being diplomatic, charismatic, or “on” when put in situations where these folks say the things they do.
I was with a group of ladies and the conversation took many turns but ended up being directed towards me in regards to my feelings about adoption. I responded to a few questions and gave in a little to prodding of questions I’d love to avoid. No big, everyone stays pretty middle of the road in voicing their opinions … Except this young lady with us who states, “Well, I’m fertile so I don’t have to worry about this….”.
I (quickly) say, “Well, I’m not so it’s something we have to consider…..”
*** And, the crowd goes silent ***
Now, I’m quite proud of my response if not for anything else besides the fact that I actually responded. I don’t always think so quick on my feet and when I do spout off at the mouth – it’s never nice. Ever.
So, needless to say…. Let’s jot this down in a little notepad called “Things You Never Say. Period.”
& please give me a moment to vent about another frustration-
How rude of some to see a woman with a baby (who isn’t the same complexion) and ask, “Is the baby yours?” ….. The things people say – mostly out of ignorance, shallowness, or stupidity at the most to just curiosity, at the least.
But, the cross, how incredibly, INCREDIBLY insensitive and bold. My answer would be somewhere along the spectrum of, “not by birth but by choice….. Is that one you’re with yours?”
I’ve almost never been so impressed.
… to us all remembering to think before we speak…
… to remembering that there is always someone going through something we never think we will….
… and, to just keeping in mind how these folks may feel when we make very opinionated and possibly inconsiderate statements – unless we’re ready to defend them & ourselves til the end.