… as if it matters

I can think of a million reasons why we need this.

Why we deserve this.

Why THIS time should be it.

As if it matters.

As if my FEELINGS can change reality.

As if what I think truly matters.

The fact of the matter is – it doesn’t. My feelings or thoughts don’t change God’s plan.

The fact that I think I’m deserving, I’ve worked so hard, I’ve been patient, I’ve prayed, I’ve had faith, I’ve been consistent, I’ve grown, etc, etc does not change a thing at all.

If there is any possible way to not be expectant while still being hopeful – that’s where I am right now.

Preparing for the worst while hoping for the best.

I’m waiting. I’m 6dpiui (6 days past IUI) and just waiting. Truly not driving myself crazy. Just patiently waiting. I think I’ve been jaded, I’m unphased by so much while still noticing little things. Always on the fence. Not quite wanting to settle on one side or the other. So, I just wait. Patiently.

… here’s to having a Plan A and B, here’s to getting over it, and just being okay with what is.







About Alaina

Wife. Daughter. Sister. Aunt. Friend. feel free to walk beside me. support. encourage. comment. pray. bestow wisdom. advise. follow. subscribe.
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