is painful and heavy. burdensome and cruel. unfair.
causes so many tears and heartache. anger. frustration. sadness.
To have to deal with issues that cause so much pain and heartache. they’re unbearable on some days and not so bad on others. Regardless, it is my cross. the beauty behind carrying this cross and all the issues associated with it, is the growth that comes from bearing it. trusting that God will never leave me during my journey. Trusting that as I bear it, I will grow stronger in both emotional strength and faith. Trusting that I will become less prideful, more humble. Less judgemental, more gracious. Slower to anger, more patient. More willing to blindly trust. Believing that with every step I am becoming more and more like Christ and who He would have me to be.
If I continue to carry it. If I sacrifice for Him. If I keep trusting and believing.
In the end, I’m hopeful that my cross will be more of a blessing than a curse. More of a tool used to grow me than one to harm me. A path leading me to You. A path that brought me to circumstances that allow me to learn Your heart, learn the very essence of You, and ultimately, to become just like You. The image You created me to be.
I know there is nothing to fear – You are with me. No matter what may come. I have to trust Your plan… Trust the bigger picture that at the end of it all, on the final day – every tribe and nation will bow down to You. How I play a part in and how You use me to that end, is all apart of Your plan. I have to trust it. I have know and believe that. That Your ultimate plan is greater than my wants. I have to be willing to sacrifice for it.
Sidebar: I love this song. It’s by Rascal Flatts. They aren’t a Christian band, this is not a gospel/contemporary Christian song. It’s a country song, by a country band. And, I love it. It’s about a guy who found the love of his life and how everything he’s been through led him to her. Very sweet. Very off topic, in a sense. It reminds me that no matter what is going on, no matter what we go through in life – God has a plan and His hand in everything. That plan leads us to Him.
This cross I bear on this broken road is worth that ultimate end.